bancuri-cu-număr™

Un moldovan la restaurant in Franta.
Chelnerul ii aduce meniul.
Rasfoieste el meniul, insa in franceza nu pricepe nici o boaba…
Deschide o pagina la intamplare si arata chelnerului cu degetul.
Chelnerul ii aduce… un morman de fasole.
Sede tipul si mananca fasolele, da in sinea sa gandeste: blin… eu, in Franta, la restaurant… si mananc fasole de parca is acasa in Moldova…
Indoapa el fasolele, deja nu are incotro, insa se uita la masa de alaturi… acolo lumea savureaza niste pui.
Termina ei puiul, cheama chelnerul, si ii zic:
- Repeter!
Si chelnerul le mai aduce pui.
- Aha! - gandeste aista in sinea lui - puiul in franceza se numeste “repete”!
Indoapa el fasolele cu de-a sila, si cheama chelnerul.
Comanda scurt:
- Repete!
Si chelnerul ii mai aduce un morman de fasole…

1. People have a quizzical look on their face when you tell them where you are from
2. You usually have to explain where/what your country is
3. You have/had carpets on your walls
4. You make Olivie salad for New Year’s/Christmas
5. You or someone in your family celebrates Christmas on Jan 7th and New Year’s on Jan 14th
6. You reuse plastic bags as trash bags
7. You have, or are striving to get, several passports
8. You’re 20 and unmarried and your mom thinks that you are getting old
9. You’ve observed the ritual of  kidnapping  the bride and selling  her back to the groom at a wedding ceremony
10. You’ve attended a wedding where all the guests take turns in announcing what they give to the young family as a gift
11. You use Romanian words with Russian endings and the other way around. Also, you freely mix Russian and Romanian when you speak (i.e. Ian uitate shi sumka prikolinaia)
12. Bad language with references to someone’s mother is something fairly common
13. You enjoy bargaining
14. You think that drinking a glass of red wine every day makes you get more blood.  Alternatively, it serves as good protection against radiation.
15. You’ve been reproached for being disrespectful when you refused to drink alcohol at someone’s house (even though you had a whole pitcher of wine prior to that and can barely walk)
16. You have witnessed gatherings where everyone drinks from the same glass by taking turns
17. Taking shots of wine is normal
18. You use the term  Fanta  as a name for plastic bottles AND you reuse your Fanta bottles (i.e. for wine)
19. You’ve seen your 5 year old sibling drinking alcohol at the dinner table on several occasions
20. You, or your parents, scream when talking on the phone with someone far away
21. You have a drink (or several)  la botul calului  when you leave someone’s house
22. Have a significant number of acquaintances who work abroad illegally
23. When you get married, you have a bunch of young men at your wedding whose main job is to whistle very loudly (i.e. vornicei)
24. Your grandmother keeps calling and asking what color you want your wedding present (i.e. sheets and blankets) to be. She neglects the fact that you are only 18 and told her, on numerous occasions, that you will not be getting married anytime soon
25. You study abroad and always have the highest grades and explain it through Chernobyl’s positive influence on your brain. If you get low grades, you blame Chernobyl.
26. Rasarita prajita (sunflower seeds) is a perfectly acceptable dinner and helps bond with your female relatives.
27. Your foreign friends all know Zdob si Zdub because you keep playing it when you feel homesick.
28. You have heard of Ion Bria
29. In a 12-seat maxi taxi (marshrutka) twice as many people manage to find a place (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUJOIWbtxgo)
30. You reuse gift wraps
31. At the train station in Chisinau you saw written “La casa informatie nu se poate” (At the cash register information cannot ..)
32. Your mom never throws away anything. If you manage to sneak something in the garbage your mom takes it from there and puts it wherever it was before
33. You are all dressed in fancy clothes and high heels but you use cheap public transportation (troleibuz)
34. You have a 400-euro cell phone but no credit so you  beep  somebody
35. When you go out in a club or fancy cafe, you display all your keys and always play with them noisily
36. You wear sunglasses in a disco.
37. You always dress up even if you are just going grocery shopping
38. People still call you Russian after you already told them you are from Moldova
39. Once they find out that you are Moldovan, people from other ex-Soviet countries immediately start speaking to you in Russian
40. When someone asks you how you are (ce mai faci) you give an honest answer instead saying you re doing well (bine)
41. You greatly enjoy eating various pickled vegetables (i.e. castraveti shi patlagele murate) with several of your meals